can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Do you have feelings for this penis?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
