Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize