JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
