forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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