Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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