I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
