just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
