i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
