I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
