i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
