dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i out mim tonsoeep
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize