The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
