saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
