He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
