Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
