I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
