you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My sheets look like a crime scene.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
