He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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