It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize