suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
