Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
