her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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