ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Acid is not a monday night drug
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
