i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My pussy is not your playground.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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