so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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