Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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