He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
