The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
sex in a hospital.. check
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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