If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Still dying that you shit outside
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I think i got beer on your cat.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
