Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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