His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
