Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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