butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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