just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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