Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize