I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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