I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's blow job season.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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