I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm too high and old for this...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize