i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
