i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize