dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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