He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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