so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize