I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
