i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I love having hate sex.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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