Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
