What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
