his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
