and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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