I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You ruined the universe
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
