Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
