Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
