I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
