Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
