you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
worst night to have a conscience
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Can I color on your dick again?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
