So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
