Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
