So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
