You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
