Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
