did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
