i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
