I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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