I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
high people should be assigned attendants
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
